Niflaot Olam

it's been a long time

2011-09-11T12:16:00.004+03:00

she walks.. but doesn't really feel the ground

her heart beats beats

the grin is there

almost hurts

bursting

sparkling sweetness

goddamn overflowing

run

jump

and she still can't believe

how lucky she is

to really feel THIS

I never felt magic crazy as this..

thank you

Imagication

2011-08-22T12:00:00.009+03:00

You are so rich

you have your imagination

SEE IT HERE

and believe me...

And yes there is a reflection here

as my floors are now boxes and books and clothes

piling up like new

high rises

in a developing country

that is

when ever I manage to get away from

the ferocious beast of

Comp Distractions!

Wackety Wack

2011-08-16T21:00:00.002+03:00

Dictionary.com Word of the Day - willowwacks: a wooded, uninhabited area.

Is that where wackos wack each other with willow branches?

Love it!

Maybe will call my future estate - Willowwacks farm....

Honey-deep

2011-08-15T15:38:00.006+03:00

Its amazing

how you might feel on the edge of the cliff

dumb founded and delirious

from feeling

that no matter how hard you work it just ain't enough..

and then suddenly like a sudden jackpot chlingchling sound

like a runner from the distance

wonders of goodness

come your way!

And then you might reconsider karma

(but your too busy jumping up and down on your injured foot..)

Once again

in case we forget

life is goooooooooooood

lick your fingers

and stop ye worrying

- "the world isn't so bad if you can just get out in it"-

OUT IN THE STREETS

2011-08-01T08:42:00.003+03:00

It is actually happening

the revolution will not be televised..

the people, and truly all kinds of people, are out there talking

not about the latest talent or how to best fight the Arabs

but about housing and government and the distribution of wealth

I'm sitting there and I can't believe it

I dreamed of having these kind of discussions

this is the kind of active, thinking society I want to be part of

it feels so real

the solidarity - I brought beers, anyone want a popsicle? there is plenty more couscous and look someone brought a fridge..

The nearby cafe lets us use the kitchen

the nearby hostel opens its showers

can we actually live like this always?

Why the hell not!!?!

...

more to come

from the streeTent-movement

Lions may roar

2011-07-14T20:42:00.006+03:00

Loneliness creeps in through a crack in the window

Along with the evening air

I'm was feeling so freegin gooooood this week! I understood the essence of lightness..

I DON'T CARE!!

Don't care what people think Don't care what I don't do - I do only only what I can!

Nummm Numm fresh lovely truth simplicity

No need to PR meself

Here I am as I am

Take it or leave it..

I want to throw away my phone to the sea of green

2011-07-06T18:20:00.002+03:00

While dancing on the sand so golden..

"That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring."

Jeff Foxworthy

trans(lucent)formation

2011-07-05T10:51:00.004+03:00

This morning

flash thought

cancel it all

no running about

no struggling

clear out my table from all these piles

of tasks

to-do's

requests

clear the sink

clear the bedroom

out as in

I can do better than this

and love meself for it

missing

2011-06-30T19:40:00.003+03:00

There is a part I figured out though

there is a great absence of beauty in our daily cunundrum

an old Chrysler in mint condition parked at a gas station

unique flower arangements by the burekasim at a conference

and kindness too

maybe that could be my next step

to figure out how to provide more occurences of unexpected

beauty and kindness

something has got to change..

Double- U's

2011-06-30T19:29:00.002+03:00

Feel the need to call my wonderful friend Shnitzel

to have him tell me why life is beautiful

feel the need to keep walking

to find that music that gives you air to breath

feel the need to shout out all this pain and transform it anger atleast

so it won't all be clumped up inside me

usually this fades away at some point

usually I find goodness in food, movie or music

but not today

today everything feels fake

such sad smoking liars all about

thinking that life is soooo gooood

Oh God

whats this

really?

which part is real?

When does it get to be more than survival?

Cause if its just this...

something is terribly wrong.

moonchild a-raising

2011-06-25T17:51:00.005+03:00

It is a time of change

feels like something is growing inside

not a baby yet..

but a freedom

I'm in love

with change

always think the next place would be better

there I would feel

more real

not in a rehearsal

sometimes me gets a glimpse of me

deep in there

hidden under the heavy stifling blankets of

self doubt

criticism

and the flowery need to please

to be loved

by EVERYONE

oh geeze

if you so smart

how come you still carry them blankets around

when you know you could be a light

dancing

open and alive

magical thing

I need a new name

want to shed some skin

shed some accessories that are cumbersome

same wishes

new strength?

me hope.

Une chambre avec vue

2011-04-16T19:59:00.003+03:00

Looking out

all these lights

peoples

windows

thoughts

dinners

Another sunset on a heat simmering city

out in the desert

that tries to be something else

sweet blues here

after an all-in-all

Pre-Pessach Luncheon

with a sneezing doggie

and reggae babylon tunes

I thought I would paint

and clean

but maybe it was time for some

nothing

for some zen emptiness

the void

lets in new thoughts

while washing dishes

while tears on the edge of eyes

while watching a film francais

Change comes from within

with rainbow dragonfly lights

Dreams

2011-04-15T10:43:00.002+03:00

What is the next step then?

I still want to do but in a simpler environment

Is that possible

I feel I have done this

I have learned and will learn

but soon my task here is done

Soon I feel it's time for the next challenge

I thought I would build a life here - but I don't see that happening

I love it

but no true roots have grown

I wonder

if I will grow roots

I wonder

where I will feel home

Yes

I know - my home is in my inner heart

but I want to grow from there outside

I want to share my load

share responsibilities

and joys

France?

Afrique?

tell me please..

Jump - Aid

2011-04-08T09:06:00.008+03:00

This is just to say

that

Fear is ridiculous

fear of what - failure?

Being laughed at? talked about?

So FUCKIN what!!

It don't matter - better be BOLD

better to do and crash and fall

then just be careful and safe

Safe

how much energy is being spent in this world

on being safe and comfortable

in having a place in society

a secure position

a group of constant colleagues with the right kind of cars

oh so sad

so safe

that you live your life in cotton balls

not feeling the jagged challenges

the wonderful bruises that you can experience only when you jump

Jump

Leap out there

Stretch the bounds

I say it's worth it

I've got enough band-aids..

Sunday lucky sunday

2011-03-13T23:33:00.004+02:00

I almost gave up on sundays

but today was lotsa gooood

Start the morn (that was tough..)

with a finish breakfast straight from the oven

nummm smell

I f I could just pack it up

I would hum cinnamonnnnmon all days long..

back to desk

sat and budgeted till I was dizzy

a first time parking spot nxt to accountant

then a meeting

stepping out just in time to meet

our new gate!!

with metal frame and all

just this morn was wondering and askin where the hell I would get one

such glorious goodness

timing is everything my friend

snuggling it up on Matke's automobile

jump by to get screwdriver just walking out

to meet an amazing neighbour

filled to the brim with plants and wooden sculptures

wowee!

gate delivered with local ethio help

back to return car

chance encouter with long past semi dilousional neighbour that promises to

pay for my wedding

yes

on to a wonderful sandwich

a girl needs her B12

talk and lemonade on the house

on to type away by beer and blues

jam night at Ashan

Get me organic cheeses

and on home

I should sleep now

or paint

or invent a song for Amit's BD

hmmm

maybe Im fine as I am

A day in a life

2011-03-08T17:09:00.003+02:00

Its been quite a day out here

Wake at 5am after an early unplanned sleep episode

[missed my Chi Kong! :( ]

Getting up

resisting the return to warm bed

Ha haa!!

and down to comp writing down all that needs to be

Budget

Paychecks

Responses

Then out out

to the Garden

see the crazed Yossi attaching any kind of wooden pieces to the Godgo

(traditional Ethiopian house)

then the neighbour that asks for another picture and financial aid

and here they come

40 americanos

spreading out to hear the story

(again..)

and then work out there and create -

a new table

new raised bed from telephone poles

new irrigation system beyond

fixing mud structures

new red-blue greenhouse

Then quickly tour the grounds

clean it all up

run over to a ChiKong delivery and some tea n cake

run back fro some more talk n falafel (blaah)

then drills

then reciepts

then a 2hr meeting downtown on budget and fundraising

she's gotta be calm

focused

professional

so what if its a big jungle of madness

and now here she is

our heroine

eating gespacho in a resto downtown

working away at the keyboard

wash it down with a beer

lone cowgirl

trying to finalize as much as can be done

before she breaks

and curls up

before another day..

Guess what??

2011-02-24T15:54:00.002+02:00

Life is

MAGNIFICENT!!!!!!

yeaaah

jumpin jackflies

strimming sunbeams

sugarflavored date bombs

that melt in your mouth

while you toss the pit from your high

up window

nope not on dope

just plain happy

like that.

Sink song

2011-02-23T17:27:00.003+02:00

Living in a bubble

in the shape of a simple house

trying to walk out

becomes more difficult with every hour of solitude

You think you're becoming stronger but actually

you're just sinking deeper and deeper

in the Swamp of Sorrows

why not travel out to the desert

to the sea?

Well cause hiding in sweet blues

is a hideout from the lonely world that awaits

hiding means not dealing with all

that wasn't done

I want to disappear

to be born again elsewhere

I don't have the wings to fly

I don't know how this is done

I don't know how to be grown up

how to function in this crazy crazy world

I don't even know why I'm writing this

a cry for help?

no one fuckin reads all these words I splatter out

How come after all these lessons

I'm still such a helpless and sad lil duckling

will I ever stand on my own two feet

steady and proud?

I am ashamed of wasting days and hours like this

I am ashamed of being so weak and self pitying

I am ashamed of feeling like a lone creature

Whats the point?

I know I can live better than this..

can I?

well I guess I'll just hide here some more

and think it over

or just find the hidden door

to another time and place

The big bada Boom

2011-02-02T15:30:00.002+02:00

Once again

Letting go

is MAGIC

in your fingertips..

Fly high

and then crash

let go

dust yourself

and walk on..

dew u like it?

2011-01-26T16:59:00.004+02:00

100th post

Tough cookie

2011-01-12T09:42:00.000+02:00

I wonder

What is more true..

To be all open and giving

Embracing douce

Tough and demanding

Requiring new heights from my partner

Both exist in me

Which one creates higher opportunity?

[this creation above from my new king of simplificating joy - Edward Monkton]

The Pig of Happiness

2011-01-10T09:51:00.000+02:00

The Pig of Happiness

Optimum Prime

2011-01-10T07:50:00.004+02:00

Don't apologize

Don't subdue

Don't show me just a hue..

How great it could be

If people where just themselves

COMPLETELY

FULL ON!

I want truth

clear

n clean

and BOLD

Stare me in the eye

be the very most of yourself

what? what could happen..?

I'm not afraid to hope anymore

I rather fly high high with my wings (love)

and if I crash

make it a big-bada-boom!

Thats how I know I'm alive

no damn FEAR!

I won't be mad if you break up

I will be if you don't match up to my hight

of honesty

and dare

open and look

lets see what can be found

wonders of the world..

The new game is

2010-12-09T20:49:00.003+02:00

to resist temptation

not to move by impulse

not go by I want

I need

but actually stop

and think

it just sounds easy..

well I never went for easy

help me out here

we'll keep score

how many times can I do the right thing

and not what feel good at the moment

work not play

focus not daydream

maybe as a game

it will work

ready, set...

Open Window (in the rain!)

2010-12-06T21:17:00.004+02:00

So here's the new deal

I thought about it today on the bus ride

rain strumming down the windows

and me happy as a new born mouse

from the real winter atlast

now its Hannuka

and in Jeru

..jackpot!

So the new pact

inner truth spoken out loud or quiet

the thing is

its become second nature for me

to talk in my head

and then choose something else to say

something to impress

to make THEM like me

who cares!

It don't work any ways

enough

I prefer to live my truth

all in all

at least

Be a full woman

unafraid

damn how I need

this kind of courage

look you straight in the eye

take it or

Know your routes

2010-12-05T15:48:00.003+02:00

Sometimes you need to travel far

just to come home..

All the way down south

and now back at my door step

I truly FEEL the red mountains

I breath

I plant

don't wanna move

or more so

want to travel light

music n seeds

Smashing lojeek

2010-11-22T09:38:00.002+02:00

I noticed

that sometimes when I get mad

smashing

desperate

(where the fuck is the tattoo place??!)

It is a trick

like when I was a kiddie

so edgy with them big huge dogs

barking like crazies

on me way home

and I finally got in my head

that if I pretend to be furious

they won't smell this

gripping fear..

fear and helplessness

is worse than damn anger

so let me scare you

with sharp shouts

slams

and hard stares

but

don't think for a minute

that I'm scared shit

oh man

I wish I was

a moose

or somethin..

so many good garden moments

2010-11-13T09:33:00.000+02:00

on simplicating

2010-11-12T18:26:00.004+02:00

Now for the first time after years
I am practicing what it is to be just me..

Like getting back to comfortable shoes
Like finding your true name

Realizing inside that it don't matter
Where you go
Where you are
What role you play
(No need to play a role
No need to go anywhere to feel special)

You can still be completely your own self

Hard to explain
Better to just feel it..

How -ling Wolf

2010-11-05T17:28:00.008+02:00

There is a house
but how do you turn it into a home?
How do you make it hug you when you come
not just hold your STUFF
How do you feel at ease at a surprise visit
and not glance with hidden terror at the raging mess

I want to take most of it
out
put it in humongous bags
and go Amish on my dome

There is so little I need
and yet there is so much

Why like this
How can it change
and why do I flip from lonely to independent every 4 minutes
or so..

So many questions
and this here screen
has taken a vow of silence

tough

lonestar

2010-10-25T13:13:00.000+02:00

Coming home from very lonely places, all of us go a little mad: whether from great personal success, or just an all-night drive, we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen.
- John le Carre

Step Out

2010-08-20T13:52:00.003+03:00

Baked brains
out in the sunshine
soul cries with the need to move!

Can I perhaps
just clear out
(burn out)
all this paperwork
instead of organizing it....

pleez
pretty pleassse

2010-08-03T18:10:00.002+03:00

looking out the window
music in ears
and millions of people all about

and me
I want to relax
and really do what feels good
without feelin guilty about it

i wrote before that I dont know
how to be
a grownup

Well now I know
I dont even want to be one
Mama yes
an independent
home grower
yup

but within and out
Im all child
innocent and freeeeeeee

dont fool me you aint got nothin better to offer me

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.
Albert Camus

Explain to me

2010-07-26T16:52:00.003+03:00

How come I don't feel blessed to be me?

In my mind
I make a lot of mistakes

I wanna scream it all out

when I dance
for freedom
from myself

all things go
recreate

find it while you stand

I wish
to be alone
with you..

Happiness complete..

2010-07-17T00:11:00.000+03:00

Miss it..

Just a spoon full of...

2010-06-15T20:52:00.005+03:00

I've found the cure!
I was so down I was tasting tears all fuckin day long lately..

but then
I did the move
came to almost a full day to the garden
out there with the people
with the staff
visitors
neighbors
jumpy impatient children
I feel me
I know me
and know Im good

till the darkdark night
with Mr Moon above and twinkly star telling jokes
right beside him
I pull out weeds and weeds
discover more tomatoes
(whats the connection with toes?)
replant a mint for Brahnu
and collect the dry leaves with the girls

oh look up
everybodies here
talking working laughing
I dont understand the language yet
but the vibe is as clear as the eve breeze
yummmmm

come join us...

4 years!!

2010-06-15T17:40:00.001+03:00

Of writing.

magic

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
- Tom Robbins

Heee-yaaah

2010-05-19T18:36:00.003+03:00

Big gulps of time
bright blue of pre dawn
to orange tweets of afternooners
music moves me
wheat boils and I brim
with a promise
of new habits
health
calm
order
I don't think there is a better thing to
wish for really..

well
ok
some love would be quite wonderful too

"..It was about 2am on the tequila side of sunrise. So early the bluebirds hadn't brushed their teeth yet.."
- Tom Robbins, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

Mon-key to happiness

2010-05-12T10:04:00.003+03:00

If I had this every eve
the drive through
surprise visit
snacks and talks
memories and ideologies

mambo jumbo
while we munch
and rest so sweet
after another long day..

If I had this
almost every eve
I could breath
more easy
and enjoy the crazy

balance my friend
is a tricky monkey

Rubberduckie

2010-04-20T17:54:00.003+03:00

I think something has changed in me
I feel more lonely in a big bunch of humanity
than in my sweetwarm home

I think that my self-sufficiency wish
just might have come through
and well
now I wonder
is this good?

To feel this good an anxious to head back home
to my ink drawings
guitar strumming
and nonsense food

I love dancing laughing and sharing
(just back from mid-desert party with the grand bash bunch)
I love kisses and hugs
(no thinking just touch)
but I am also
such a happy duckie
just on my
ownsome

calm seeps through
you might not have noticed
but Ive changed..

New Saturday Song (#4)

2010-04-05T16:45:00.005+03:00

Reggae baby
so sweet in my arms
Evening breeze
brings new ease
brings new calm

Move your body
vibes shine through your bones
So healthy
You don't need all that you own

Look Around you
people dancing
smile
all about you
you know you're enough
for yourself

Spring strings

2010-03-28T20:51:00.002+03:00

New tunes
born within
lil me
it started from hurt and now
some good words carry me farther on this symphony road
towards writing more
and trying to find the way
to play it out
to sing out
pluck out
my new songs

you should be happy you ain't my roommate these days
cause I'm a pluckin and practicing like never before..

yooooheeeee
new window of expression
so much to learn!
I wanna know how to write music
how to write down the tune like I can write down the words

so good to want to learn all this in earnest
hope this yearning sticks
cause I wanna know it
play it
sing it

New Morning

2010-03-16T07:41:00.004+02:00

suddenly colder
crispy air
toast and salty butter
like yester tears
with pear slices

I might be able to even make music
what a dream!
I woke
early this morn
wondering

walk around so busybee
time to stop think

maybe eat first
play a tune
finish some tasks
and then..

oh the bread is crispy
butter might play
tune dreams

Barc- alone

2010-02-10T23:21:00.004+02:00

tiny mushrooms
red wine
technicolor lettuce
all fresh from the market
picked this manyana
combined in an amazing fiesta in the dungeon downstairs kitchen
good cooked companyera food
with me roomates
talk and sing with the classics

simple
good
now a movie
Im a happy soul
solo aint
a problem
when you got music
and beauty

Balle!

Shuga bebe

2010-01-26T08:50:00.003+02:00

Look Around
what douya see?

What do we do all day?
who do we see?

Why prance about and act so busy
so serious?

damn I want to be silly
totally ridiculous is my plan

splash out of it
be weird
take off the costume
take off the pretense
what's so important?

Oh I'm willing to give up the part of my being that
takes things too much to heart

Just snap and go
make a face
do a dance
laugh out
no stress

no stress

we can laugh at anything
it won't take from it's value
just relieve the stress
and transform it to positivo action

try it
I will.

Yalla shuga bebe - back to work..

pooh-sh it all out

2009-12-31T06:27:00.004+02:00

A Woman
A Manager..?

I'm more likely a Pooh Bear

Dumm dee dum
Peanutbutter toast

humming away the hours
while the rain drops
drop
on the pigeon rooftop
and the morning sounds
fill the blanks between
night thoughts

mudnificently happy

2009-11-06T23:11:00.005+02:00

Step in
its round and delicious
earth colored
desert Inuit
veggie Eskimo
in a
mud igloo

lie back on sand dunes
loose yourself in
some wind
walkabout following
footprints and pawprints

smooth mud bath
you wanna dive in
then war colors on your palm
that form daydreams
on mud walls

take off your shoes
shed some skin
and breath it in

we can live like this..

"do you wear boxes? then why live in one..."

kidney cushions

2009-11-02T07:58:00.004+02:00

Yesterday was a day of social revelations
after weeks
or months of bareness..
Train friends
Nextdoor friends
6 year back community garden guerrilla mates
(what a reunion!)
and random connection friends
football and beers in to the rainy night

This world is one one with many portals
hidden windows and rabbit holes
you open your eyes
open something in your soul
or just in your chest
and life pours in
somehow

It wants to

This weekend has been one of revelation
in the best sense
I think I found a way
to really let go
and accept things as they come
you can not even imagine
how much room that clears..

In fact
I could invite all my new comrades
to my inner saloon -
lotsa new space

Ark en Ciel..

2009-10-26T02:18:00.004+02:00

A lazy friday afternoon image -

Everybodies entering Noah's ark
two by two's

and me
meanwhile on the sandy beach
gathering seashells

feet in the water...

Shed some light

2009-09-13T20:45:00.005+03:00

I was raised in a french-north-african fam
which means that comfort has a straight translation to food
good food.

Hence when I'm truly troubled
lost
a good guess would be to find me wandering
at the market
anykind

not to eat
no hunger
just a need to believe again
in things that are simple and truly good

Then laden with these quality possessions
I get to my home
look at the fridge brimming
in this naive notion
that now
no harm can come upon me
Im armed and ready

how sad..

Oh man I'm such a tired babee
not sure if I'm cut out to be a grown up
in this crazed fucked up world

How does one do it really?

I must have daydreamed
when they gave out the instructions..

Sonata de-mi Rising

2009-09-10T08:17:00.005+03:00

Construction beats
Streetbroom sweeps
doves that tweet (or rather coo)
Trucks retreat
and that's some beeep beeep

and then there's the school across the street
that's got this crazy samba tune
through morn and noon
that signals when to play and when to meet
the chair and books
so new so neat

And so with that grand symphony at play
I try to put it all at bay
by waking before the sun could ray
and shine so lovely
upon the metropolis bay
of sand dune

all is silence
just one tune
and a wake up
for the sleepy moon
or woman-child
asleep and wild
in dreams that wont subside
to get me on my feet

but when I do
its all everlight blue
through the calm I run
mist and sweat blend till Im done
then water flowers
and got the powers
for a new day...

Be Seven

2009-08-24T13:51:00.002+03:00

Just a reminder for myself
for the near to far future
I fuckin love Beer-Sheva!

Simple, open, warm, friendly, cheap
loud and ridiculous

desolate and surprising

you might feel cheated
but at least
you feel at
home

Another cup another place

2009-08-22T12:23:00.005+03:00

This is a moment when I feel content
Friday afternoon
green seas
wild breeze
Tsintsin made earthcup

I want to keep that moment
of self appreciation
self love
calm acceptance
(why am I usually so hard on myself..)

this is me
a woman making her way
trying her best
to be

"People tell you to be yourself.. as if that's a definite thing.. like a toaster or something.." - My So Called Life

Jugglin

2009-08-02T20:58:00.003+03:00

are you the clown?
of all the questions to ask me..
no I just work here
so what if I got a big hat on
and Im doing goofy stuff with the kids
inventing nonsense words
while trying to grasp somore Amarhinia
Yes youve been seeing me carrying weird stuff around
dirt smears on the face
next to a huge smile

but hey
does that make me a clown?

a night with kasata

2009-07-25T20:23:00.005+03:00

The bat owl
lays on moonlit grass
in another night
of unexpected goodness
sea breeze
ice-cream touch
man
I needed this so much
to feel a pair
more than an apple
or a 'slightly' burnt banana cake

I could sleep here
in this sweetness

moon definitions

2009-07-25T20:12:00.006+03:00

beer smooths
the ridges of complaint
and self-loathing

head-aches
make everything sharp
and difficult

laziness
doubles itself
like
spermatozoa

itch
to ditch
the need

self sufficiency
please

Ecothiopia - try it once in your life..

2009-06-25T23:42:00.005+03:00

my feet are dusty
from dancing on the earth
of the Beershevian grounds
that surround our community garden..
Back from the ongoing
biggest smile
evening Ive had in a while
excitement overflowing being at last
at the Ecothiopia that we made happen
seeing this babe come to life
creating a reality out there
dancing smiling moving
ooohhh man
this was just soo
gooood

so much emotion
cant sleep..!

could this be my nickname??

2009-04-14T15:10:00.002+03:00

labile: open to change; apt or likely to change

cause you see change is a foot once more
new place
new job
new life pattern to create

and of course just when I thought I got the jigsaw figured out where I am..
funny funny life
always a surprise (Halva Haftaot..! - an ice cream flavor at the farm yesterday) always a challenge
on the crossroads
what is the question you should ask yourself?
do you know?

I just saw a book - life is learning
I like that
clear simple open enough
fits my notion of ongoing variety
and yet (yes..)
I'd like a background beat to all this learning
a certain certainty
just an ancient badaboom that is the thread
weaved through the journey

well I'm going dancing tonight
badabooms galore!!

Yukalele..

2009-03-09T07:45:00.001+02:00

Everything is shitty
No job
No money
No home

and yet
as I walk through the field in muddy boots..
I love my life!
go figure...

WHat??

2009-01-26T14:30:00.001+02:00

The universe is definetly trying to tell me something..
but to be honest I really I don't get it - everything I plan just gets knocked over once and again and then comes the ultimate question -
fight back or duck and move on?

What do I really really want - maybe thats the point..
Don't just do what you CAN but do what you WANT - now why is that so difficult to figure out?

Soooo many dreams and here I am on the threshhold ready to create it all
the moment I've been waiting for
and then I get shaky and all this puffed up confidence blows out like mountain wind
what?
You?
I Am a Blue Solar Storm
I can create and ride
and I don't even need to buy the ticket
(not that I could buy anything now..)
you know what - I think I JUST got it,
I need to create my wheels instead of waiting so very patiently for my ride to come

Hell..
these hands were made for working
and my boots for walking
and my mind for expansion of limits
and so it must be

this girlie ain't afraid anymore.

which is what i do..

2009-01-26T05:15:00.002+02:00

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities.

- Dr. Seuss

footprint

2009-01-05T22:25:00.004+02:00

A new creation of a life pattern
and I got this wonderful luck
to start from scratch
want to rewrite the rules
not tumble into
land familiar
how hard it is

hints of bare truth sneak in
from heart talks
from really good books
from the quiet

this is really golden

seek it dig for it
build it
stone by stone
seashells and wild flowers
under the hot sun
and the night bright moon

my path
hope your strong enough to walk it

cow of moses in the desert sun

2009-01-05T21:51:00.004+02:00

Sometimes
When the right song comes in
it could remind me
of me
on the edge of the plateau
dancing in the silence
or running down the path
backpack jiggling
morning in oranges

the unneeded sheds off
and its just me
talking to the sky
close to the desertground red polkadot beetle marches on the edge
like me

wondering what lies beyond

slaying monshters

2008-10-23T02:24:00.004+02:00

Late night morning
could be
could be
one of my last of these night thesis session

though
from every bad comes good
cause my award-winning procrastination
gave birth to this here creature

so
if I was an all efficient being
there would have been no window
for creative nonsense
(beyond the damn thesis I mean..)

ohh wow
a life awaits
in which I wake
and there might not be something
lurking there
waving its finger
to my guilty gaze
as I quickly look away

hmmm.. article barbecue anyone..?

New Wis-dome

2008-08-21T13:03:00.002+03:00

Big thoughts bubbling inside
eager to be born and realized
in this fertile environment of a thinking
altogether different

think if suddenly you got hit with the notion
that the best way is to
stop
observe
learn
breath
and change by adjusting within this knowledge

- all my favorite joys!

this constructive flow has brought out all varieties
of new thoughts and ideas
of things I'd like to do
or more so
HOW I want to do them..

Shlikaplow!
get me some walking boots
who knows how far one can go..

Should I stay or...

2008-06-22T22:33:00.005+03:00

big decisions afoot
beckoning me from different directions

on one side
comfort
like a big mama
thick arms
enfolding engulfing in a certainty
you can sneak a peak around the corner
and see it.. your next week
now, wouldn't that be nice for a change?..

and then there is that whisper
a squeak deep in there
enticing from afar
calling out to me like a damn gypsy
limber and agile
liquid movement
always that fire heat within
demanding more..
why?

in my parts they say:
'Better one bird in your hand
than two on the tree'

but me
I like to climb trees..
and anyway
tell me
must I really catch those birds?

summer peaches

2008-05-25T05:10:00.004+03:00

Early morning bird
searching for its song
silence is good
solitude a gift
and yet..

fruitless
the battles seem
and I love
fruit

maybe
climbing up
the wrong tree

I want a monster ladder
to see above the
confusion pollution
a peek
at a clear peak

ready for a real juicy bite.

Soulo dancing

2008-04-29T23:57:00.005+03:00

There is nothing quite so stirring
as the true spirit
coming
back to life

soul sees best

I am going to live
I need to live in a place
where people grow their own food
and dance on the
ground with all their
might

it saint so...

2008-03-09T12:50:00.003+02:00

mornings
quiet and bathing in suns
spinach growing to be another thing completely
transformation
dear friend
into an harmonica playing
vagabond
hit me
on the head
so that new ideas could form like
good ol' moses man
play a tune
dance a lil dance
jiggle your shinny ones
whats it for?

The saints go marchin
and I stand here
asking
wisdom springs galore
whats it all for?

train-ing

2008-03-02T14:51:00.003+02:00

The fire in me
the anger and despair
is down to warm embers
a certain calm
translucent blue
that comes with travel
and long talks with true friends..

Not all goes as planned
and that is fine
really fine
what a soothing thought
(while riding on the train smiling to myself..)
thoughts can be like
honey drops
filling you with sweetness
like realizing that what
you worried about so much
is just FINE

yup. all good.

I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time.
Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.

E. B. White (1899 - 1985)

Cash-you nuts

2008-01-08T20:39:00.000+02:00

My lil garden
blooming
in the most beautiful way lately
these greenies I get along with,
I help them thrive..

The other kind of greens
I get confused with..
once I held on to the simple belief
- work hard and you shall have money for what you need..
it sits there somewhere in the neighborhood of
- be kind and you will have friends..

Naivety pops to mind
over-simplification maybe

But I must ask
there is a well proven axiom
- easy comes, easy goes
why then
why oh why
easy go
finds it so very difficult
to come back?

just so u know

2007-11-18T18:52:00.000+02:00

Dreams don't come true
Dreams are true.

wild thing

2007-11-18T17:35:00.000+02:00

what can console
the inner storm
bad timing
need to focus now
finish up
feel like
running
braking
jumping up and down

you cant run
you cant hide

don't want self-pity
don't want confusion

where did the clear thought
walk to

did it get bored with my
delay?

Am I not supposed to know whats most important?
how do I get unstuck?
yeah I know its all me - all the answers are inside
all the possibilities there too

so why do I keep crying when I should so be writing?
I miss simple warmth

hold me tight
I'm disappearing..

balagan logic

2007-11-15T18:46:00.000+02:00

Its sometimes good to be messy
cause in this
apparent disorder
one can at times find unexpected surprises
in exactly
exactly
the right time

if you go ahead and well.. arrange it all
the thingies loose their natural placement..
which could render them incapable of preforming this
magic

stop them worries then
its all froody

Land a-hoy!

2007-11-13T04:07:00.000+02:00

two butterflies
roaming above raging sea waves
made of glass on my desk
our indoor mind
can be like that at times

thoughts wandering
trying to find what to attach to
'everything is changing'
my grandma kept saying

'the golden years ain't that golden girl'
luck
thats important
whatever you choose to call it
be sure you see it
and welcome it in

maybe thats the
solid land
in the raging sea

be open to
chance
random
possibility
anywhere

sharp blue-gray eyes
that have seen
almost everything
sparkle at me..

metamorphosis

2007-10-02T12:43:00.000+02:00

What does it take to be independent?
do you have to cut yourself out
like a cookie..
all the dough inside you
it's still part of your parental dough
so I don't know

What does it take to do your thing
with no worries?
does that ever happen?
wish I could flatten
restart
abort
rewrite the rules here

Its so confusing man
tumbling about in this wash machine turmoil
looking for an honest way out of a mess
stuck in the middle like that shirt that never found a nice place on the neat pile..

I want
to be a butterfly
completely transformed metamorphosed in to a free identity

no worries please
just trust and acceptance
is that too much to ask?
relieve me from your concern
and I will
learn from my own mistakes
can't be in charge for your disappointment anymore

I love you
let me free
and I will promise to be happy..

after thought

2007-09-24T15:14:00.000+02:00

How do you say goodbye
to someone who's already gone
?

I mean
we have all these rituals
you see
and yet they say g'bye to the shell
so whats the good in that
?

when really you
find that you lack the farewell part so much
just a small word of closure would suffice..
'you did good..'
'loved you we did..'
'take care now.. be safe..'

I think
the need is to know
that the depart from life was done somehow
with a content smile
saying
yes it's time
thankyou for what i got
what i did
see you across the door..

hey sky..

I donno
just don't believe in stone graveyards
wish it could be
to plant a tree
then you could have a grand living shade to
talk to

Miriam said a week ago
she would prefer to
breath her last
while hugging a tree...

I bet she's climbing one now..

All I need

2007-09-11T00:54:00.000+03:00

In my own lil universe
everything I need is in arms reach
the water tube
like a long umbilical cord
suck in some hydration
music cords in ears
and straps around
holding my necessities

I can find it by touch
all I need

Under the shade
of the Weeping Willow
by the old port of Biganos
I know
that I don't need much.

Believe it

2007-08-13T23:47:00.000+03:00

A new adventure
my new blood
awaits me
and yet..

The greatest adventure
wildest ride
sweetest plum
the song I searched for
to actually find
how good can it be?
this good..

believe me
its out there
oh man I cant even
write
I'm too happy
to
breathe

LoneSpoon

2007-07-18T21:47:00.000+03:00

The ice is slowly melting..they say
but my ice box just froze over
engulfing, hugging tightly my craved mango icecream!

I scream
You scream
We ALL SCREAM
FOR ICECREAM!!

that evil kibbutznik fridge..
what oh what shall I eat
to ease my
gypsycrazy
thoughts?

I ain't drunken
just a lone pumpkin..

your gone.

where is the sunshine?

2007-07-07T23:04:00.000+03:00

(come on ..couldn't really miss this date
too pretty..)

baby better get out of bed
summer's hangin over our head..

yesterday in jeru walking and reading
street poems
open market
bits of africa on screen

how sad though
actually aches in the belly
when a place you know and love
changes
looses the comfort of it
the familiarity
sure I feel like an oldy saying this
but do we really need Better
all the time?

I have so many memories from the old cinemateq
on the valley
like coming back once a year
for the cup of cinematographic tea..
don't add sugar
don't improve the mug
some things are just meant
to be
what they
are.

stop ye concrete building!
pro-gress.. blahhh

Soap in my drink

2007-07-01T23:36:00.000+03:00

evening out in front of the house
after a tomatogarlicheese dinner
now red saucers filled with a all-in shake
talk and laughter
confused and relaxed
the drama shrinks away
how good it is
to let it all hang loose
morbid cynicism on the right
deep embracing smile on the left
smile on

des cons heureaux...

heavy load

2007-05-28T17:07:00.000+03:00

My new wish
to grow humongous invisible wings
and fly away
from up high
I will start a new
something..

but there's this bag I'm carrying on my back..
want to be a lightweight hitchhiker
just move and do and eat

are you nodding at the text?
when did this become so heavy so

shake it off
run free

anyone know of a really big luggage storage
or you know what just take it
I don't want it anymore

lightweight adventurer
I am

good earth life

2007-05-11T06:51:00.000+03:00

feel the sun on my wide straw hat
feel the hands straining to pull out the weeds
ow thorny rose
feel the back as lifting 2 crates of petunias and zinnias
30 l of soil
20 l of compost
lets plant this nice and pretty.. with white stones all about
can I help you, ma'am?
oh big flowers in the shade always blooming that don't need watering...?

end of the day feel my body
feel the paper in my hand getting damp
the numbers on the paycheck can barely
cover the dirt on my finger..

making a living..

at least I love it.

letters dancin to the rhythm

2007-03-08T02:08:00.000+02:00

crazy nights and days
all things upsidedown

things happen so much that I dont get a chance to
think them through

likewhen you write and the words are too slow for your stream of gushing thought
letters get lost dropped on the way wandering about

whre do those lost letters go?

is it to the sameland of missing socks?

feel like preparing a late late night soup with all means of goodness in it

it is a mazing when the maze of the day
is disconnected
how it can be out of the ordinary..
why eat sleep
in those times

get out of thetimeframe
and you find so many new combinations
of life rhythm

move to your own beat..
find it

nimnum

2007-02-03T23:05:00.000+02:00

sleep deep

in the desert wind

a roof and a window

2007-01-28T17:12:00.000+02:00

to be back home
So important to have
your own
Hooooommmmmmmmmmmmm

Lay back
enjoy the quite corner of
yourself

lil cave of my own goodness
my books
sounds I love
to be free
to dance as
I am

Smelling the air above my garden while
my meal
gets warm
night of

muskat & ginger
& new hope

through Nigerian branches

2006-11-30T21:32:00.000+02:00

up to the north

deep through

the Sacred Forest

near Oshobgo

A butterfly

huge one

soon gone

but really

there was something there

magic

the water was waiting

to talk

we continued to walk

away

don't you miss the stars??

2006-11-29T13:15:00.000+02:00

I prefer nights now
mornings are late and lazy
nights are dark and wandery

Future is hazy
friends are slim
boys are stupid
Dog is sweet and tolerant
suns are warm

food is Skippy
I might be pretty..

but wish I was content.

I wonder

2006-11-16T21:17:00.000+02:00

if some day I would look at his time of loneliness

And smile back at it
I bet I will

I wanna love you now…

But Im not wholy ready for you yet
Still some way to go and build on my own
Transform now
Today is the best day that can be
I feel like drinking up

Celebrating solitude
Chinchin to independence

Who knows what may come our way..

Beaujolais to you all you funky nitwits

Here I am late at night supposedly writing my intro and swamped with gallons of basil leaves and a small vine…

Atleast atleast - Im weird

tooo happy!!!

2006-10-31T00:40:00.000+02:00

YOu wouldnt believe..
so much
to be found
right here right now
right NOW

so extremely happy my feet
barely
touch
the ground...!

such big gulps
overflowing sea
of pure joy

what do you do with it all?

Its like having a huge bar of chocolate
and you really cant eat it all
and you want to give out
before it melts..

let everyone you love
taste the sweetness

So take a bite
& create a new wish
for yourself.

gotta love it - liFE!

how can I sleep?
gotta DANCE.

safe

2006-10-23T14:37:00.000+02:00

Im going to build a tent
to keep my spirit free..

the path that got away

2006-10-03T00:13:00.000+02:00

I was afraid of this..
That I might grow up and forget the clarity
of a different path.

it keeps closing in
like the walls in StarWars
squishing you into a box of
success

..."see now your happy
everything
you eveeer wanted..."

Once crazed friends
now down to living-room-talk..

no wonder I keep going out with
younger guys
not yet boxed
still excited about possibilities..

gosh everything
too predictable.

I wont have it!!
you hear!

I'm not buying it
gonna go create something else..
I won't forget!

hmmm.. remind me.. ok?

Just singin'..

2006-09-21T18:51:00.000+03:00

Wowweee! Rain!!
many big drops of it
first hesitant
how will it be accepted
then as if saying
you know what I'm out here
its my time now
deal with the change!
then the big buckets come out
smell..
and all is new and washed
for the new year

I once had a thought
If God wants us to celebrate all his holidays
why doesn't he celebrate with us..
RaisinRain in Tu BiShvat
8 Suns on Hannukah
Something new on Newyears..

long time no write

2006-09-04T19:32:00.000+03:00

'Tis 4th of Sept
where am I ?
disappeared to another place
just beginning to get found

Feels good
to re-know whats important
what helps me soar
like re-growing wings
like sitting at the piano and stretching your dusty fingers
like seeing the clouds again beyond the crowded rooftops
(thankyou Karen..)

it takes a lot of power
to find the truth in the blahblah world
easier usually way up on hilltop

here you need to fight through
maybe that's why city people are cranky
that
and traffic..

well maybe if I can make it here
I can make it anywhere
Her-zel-ia Her-zel-iaaaaa..

I will try
simplicity
clean thoughts
breath

Fight and then what??

2006-07-13T13:44:00.000+03:00

The kids got bored
of talking
started to play the game
they know so well..
They will not be taken as weakened fools..
They will not let slide the insult..
ooh no...

They are boys
with big toys
that make much noise

don't stand in the way
cause today
you'll see
THEY will go away

this time we'll do it right
just need much might
the last fight...

ohh wait
were did everybody go
don't they know
we meant to show
that its
the only way to grow

empty playground
no one in the sand
what a piece of land
can do..

When a child is angry and kicks you - would you kick him back?.. thats just saying without words - ok so this is the new mode of communication.. you want my attention - kick me..
If speech and reason don't help - there is a need to contain the violence forcibly - but still not by kicking back..
There has to be a way for that principal with countries as well - I cant believe we are still communicating (negotiating...) through missiles and tanks..
They (both sides) are actually saying it: "We are doing this to make them understand.."
Cause you know, missiles and heart-aching worries really give the necessary empathic power to understand what the other side wants... sure, goodthinking..

couldn't they just square it out in a videogame or even chess.. heck flip a coin.. Oh what am I saying, it might land in some ones eye.. dangerous..

Who's keeping the peace? we could use a piece...

Go away

2006-07-07T01:45:00.000+03:00

(help me)

Drowning in a sea
an ocean of
unbound time
just another lonely day

lights so bright in my eyes
peoplepushing by and
walkingthrough
in to the night

curling up
escaping
inside storybook
& motionpicture
caves

remember
as kids
we would
assemble overturned sofas
blankets cushions
create a soft
hidden
hideout

Got any spare blankets..?

Why do I still need this??

Hot wat

2006-07-02T21:15:00.000+03:00

Dammn its hot! Its not so much the heat as the nonexistent movement of air.. its mississippi kinda hot..not that I've been but I currently feel the need to sit on the porch swaying and flapin my straw hat in creation of a local breeze..so.. Beershevians are smilin to themselves now, cause they got the evenin breeze alright..unwindy mountains..no wonder I'm leaving..
Yesterday was a very full day and unique for one that I had eaten 3! true square meals..
Chez Sandra's sweet parents after some rock drawing on the tree house with her sweet expressive boy..
later napping while the banana cake was baking
Out to visit Sanait & family, the ethiopian family that keeps me happy (and worried), gotta bless sweet Berto for his everlasting patience with 6 smallones tugging, petting, running and squealing about him.. me in the mean time unable to rescue him much as I am urged to eat more Injira and spicy wat while receiving translation to ethiopian videoclips..

Do you sometimes also step out of yourself and look at you and wonder - how did this come about?

Uganda bits

2006-06-27T23:41:00.000+03:00

Soo I know its been quite a while ago but my efforts to put my pics from this trip online met a total utter inconceivable failure.. so here are some bits

ticktock chasing

2006-06-26T02:12:00.000+03:00

What an amazing way
to pass the day
could it be a skill
to do at will
nothing at all?

goin out to see a movie bit
not that I deserve it
cause if I was
a genuine worker
and not such a slacker
I would
be an attacker
a true samourai
of to-do's
no voodoo's
just get things done
cause there is no fun
in the tomorrow-routine
ya know what I mean?

Gotta go and hit the road
and catch the flick
..hope something will kick

I'm usually productive
whats going on?
could anyone tell me
where goes time thats gone?